Force of nature

“It is literally impossible to be a woman. We have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.”

The pressure of this contradictory existence has become greater and greater the more I accomplish, and it damn near broke me recently. But I’m still here and I’m learning to self-regulate and process my rage when I’m undervalued and not treated with the respect I deserve.

Because I can’t enjoy the fruits of my labor if I’m hypervigilant or dissociate. And I can’t change the world if I’m exhausted from the wrong battles.

So, I’m taking better care of myself so I can keep building new roads. It’s been a hell of a journey meeting so many inner demons, but I’ll be damned if I compromise my integrity just to conform to the status quo…

So the Barbie monologue really struck me. It also made me think of another moment that felt similar—the REI ForceOfNature campaign. I cried the day I got that catalog in the mail, and it’s amazing to reflect on how many amazing people I’ve connect with after I stopped making myself small & allowed myself to simply exist as my whole self.

"These are the voices we've heard all our lives. The ones that tell us to be careful, quiet and cute. To smile more. The ones that tell us what we should and shouldn't do. But the further out we go, the harder they are to hear. Outside, we are a force of nature. We are making new trails and making some noise of our own."